“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.”
― Anne Frank
Our son came home this last weekend. He hasn’t been home in 6 months and for 5 months before that. It was incredibly normal to have him home, as if, he’d never really left. I tried to remind myself that this is not the new normal around here, this is special time, to be spent together and enjoyed and cherished.
He’s turning into a grown up.
There were days, years even, when I didn’t know if that would happen. I’d like to take credit for it but I can’t. I’ve guided and yelled and listened and pushed with all my might. It took him choosing to want to make his life better. And now I see him making decisions based on how much sleep he can get and how much money it costs. And I’m in awe of the fact that I don’t have to reason with him about it.
About a month and a half ago, I decided that I was really ready to change my ways. I’m the clutterer in my house. I come home, drop my purse, my keys, my sunglasses, the mail, etc, wherever there is a spot for them. About a month and a half ago, I thought, geez, really? When are you going to grow up and realize that it takes more energy and more time to clean up after yourself than to just deal with it right away. So I cleaned out a basket and now I have a place to put the OPENED bills and stuff I need to deal with. I sort the mail right when I bring it in — open every envelope, put the important stuff in my basket or file it, throw out the envelopes that won’t go in the compost, and put the rest of the junk mail or stuff to be shredded in the shred bucket. Amazing what this one thing has done in my life.
You can see the top of my kitchen table. There’s not one pile on it. And there hasn’t been one for a couple of weeks now.
This urge to just deal with stuff has spread to the laundry. You see, I don’t mind sorting it or washing it or even folding it out of the dryer, but I really don’t like putting it away.
Other than the load that is in the washer right now — my clothes are all hung up and put away.
I even double vacuumed yesterday AND mopped the floor.
(I may need to be checked out by a doctor because this is just not my usual self.)
Guess what. I’m growing up.
Most of the time, I’m a take it on, put it behind you kind of person. I always put my lack of enthusiasm for housework under the “I don’t have time to care” column. With my son officially on the grown up side of life, I’m ready to finally care. I don’t know that I’ll ever be the A1 housekeeper but I’m okay with that.
Growing up is all about claiming the power to change your mind, your circumstances and your life. Kids can’t wait to be a grown up because they see how much power grown ups wield. Grown ups wish they hadn’t grown up so fast because the “power” they thought they’d get, just isn’t what they thought it would be.
But the truth is we do have the power to create happiness and peacefulness and harmony and everything we’ve ever wanted. We have the power to make someone else feel special, to make ourselves feel special, and to choose a different way in our lives.
It’s time to grow up. It’s time to choose a better way. It’s time to do that which you have been putting off, delaying action or just flat out avoiding.
Becoming a grown up is hard to do. It feels hard to choose a different way. But it also feels amazing when you know you pushed through some difficulty or some obstacle or some habit you’ve created. The rewards for growing up far outweigh any pain or angst. You feel empowered, bold and incredibly encouraged.
Do you have a dream? What is keeping you from achieving it? Money, time, circumstances? What was the last step you took towards that dream? It’s time to get moving. Every step you take toward that dream gets you that much closer. And with every step, you’ll find the enthusiasm and the motivation to take another. Don’t worry about the side trips. They are part of the journey to your dream. Just keep faithfully and diligently taking those steps.
So be encouraged! Be empowered! Be a grown up in your life. Take responsibility, take action, move your feet. Who you become is in your hands now.
As Glinda, The Good Witch, says in the Wizard of Oz:
“You don’t need to be helped any longer. You’ve always had the power….”