I want you to know that everyone struggles with something in their life. Everyone, no matter how serene their outside facade, has inner demons and struggles.
I am reminded of that anytime a couple who I thought had it all splits up. Or when some gorgeous, young, vibrant person takes their own life. Or when a family is shattered by unseen forces.
I think one of the hardest things in this life is the inner voice that is so hard on us. It knows the secret thoughts of doubt, anger, self recrimination, unworthiness, and the times when you know you didn’t live up to who you want to be. That voice’s world is dark and cold. And it usually surfaces when we’re tired and stretched leaving us more vulnerable to accepting that voice as the voice of truth.
I find myself working through some deep thoughts in the middle of the night. It may seem like the best time, the outside world is quiet, there are no distractions, but it’s actually when my defenses are down and that negative voice seems its loudest. I know I’ve hit the wall of Out of Control when I worry about when the last time the kitchen floor was mopped. But I don’t always hit that well recognized wall. Most of the time, I stop short and just wallow at the base of the wall, unable to sleep and unable to work through the issue with my sleep deprived reasoning skills.
In the morning light, my fears and worries are put back into perspective. They shrink back and are replaced with my life’s missions and obligations and by the affirmations of those around me who find me valuable and worthy. Yes, there are days when the shadows sneak in but in the daylight, those shadows are not overwhelming.
So, what do you do when the shadows seem to be overtaking you?
My simple answer is pray. Pray to your Higher Power, God, Allah, Jesus, Messiah, All That Is, and surrender the fear and the doubts and the worries that are swirling around. Imagine gathering all the darkness and putting it in a basket or a box and handing it over to the Great Light of the Universe. Imagine this basket/box being lifted from your hands and feel the weight of it being removed from your being. Feel your fingers releasing the basket/box. Let it go. Don’t reach for it again.
Feel that sense that you are safe and that your biggest worries are being handled by someone who has more knowledge than you do. It’s safe here. You are safe.
Close your eyes and imagine a great sunrise on all those shadow thoughts. Blasted in the light of knowingness and centeredness, they are gone. Shadow thoughts cannot stand in the light.
You have the power within you to raise the light of your being any time of day. As I sit here at 3:32 AM, I know that my light and my God rise inside of me and banish all those shadows thoughts. I am an expression of God, full of worthiness, confidence, wisdom, power, zeal. There is no situation here that can overtake the light of who I am.
Grounded in this wisdom, I sleep.