All posts by Melissa

Just a girl who woke up one day with lots of responsibilities, a husband, a grown son, a house, a dog and a cat, just name a few, and wondered how it all happened so fast. So now I'm trying to take my time and know that every moment is precious while still surviving and growing and learning. It's a balancing act. Some days I do it well, other days my butt is in the sand. But this is how it goes. I want to live in such a way that inspires people to make better choices and to seek their highest potential.

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional

wpid-wp-1365963486013I believe Buddha is usually attributed to this quote.  It doesn’t really matter but we’ll give the Buddhists the applause for having such clarity around suffering.

When you were a child and you touched the stove that you’d been warned not to touch, the resulting pain marked a moment that you may have forgotten about but created a lesson you will not forget. In that split second, you learned something to keep you safe — that stoves are hot and to pay attention when you are around them. (And, maybe, to listen to those voices around you when they call out warnings?  Ah, but that’s another post.)

And yet, while we all know that things cooked on a stove or in an oven are scorching hot, who among us has not reached for the piping hot pan at least once?  Even though you learned the lesson at an early age?  Hmm…….

What’s the difference then in the experience?  Is the pain any different now than from the first time you burned your finger?

Probably not. But I imagine, if you were like me, you suffered that first burn.  You cried. You sought help.  You cried some more. You got some cream and a band aid (and maybe a kiss). You showed the blister to your friends. You told them your horrible tale.  You popped the blister, picked the scab and retold the story. You may have found some sympathetic listeners or others who had similar experiences but in the quiet of the night, when that burn ached, you remembered how you did something you were not supposed to do and now you’re paying for it.

Now move forward in time to the last time you burned yourself……  other than an “Ouch!” did you suffer it? Our son trained to be a chef. He once burned his hand so badly that I was really concerned about him. He however, was unconcerned. It was just another burn he treated and his life moved on.

Interesting, isn’t it?  Perspective, life experience and coping tools change the very same pain from one that we suffer to one that is a minor blip in our life.

So, is there a pain in your life that you are suffering? Is it the first time you’ve felt this pain or is this one you’ve been dragging around for a while? Have you sought help and tools to aid its healing? Or are you telling your tale and taking the punishment over and over and over again?

You have it within you to release the suffering. Stop telling your story. Take steps to heal the pain and move away from those who encourage you to pick the scab. Seek supportive but not co-dependent people to call you out when you are standing in your suffering. Seek the higher call in the situation. Is there something you are supposed to be understanding or is it just an experience from which to draw future wisdom?  You don’t have to understand it right now.  You just need to not get stuck in it.

Living hurts sometimes. It sucks and sometimes it’s all you can do to take the next step.  But take it. And take another and another.  Choose to acknowledge that it hurts but the hurt is not going to take over your world forever.  Because burns heal.  They leave a mark, but it doesn’t hurt like it did when it first happened.  You don’t have to carry the story anymore.

Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome. — Arthur Ashe

journey_1Welcome to our journey!

And what a journey it’s been so far!

John and I have a dream of working together (or on side by side paths). We’ve been on a path of spiritual seeking for a while now.  We enjoy sharing our discoveries and our conversations with each other and with anyone who is interested.  We’re not perfect by any means. But it is our imperfection (our journey) that has brought us to this place, so we’re going to celebrate being here and share what we’ve learned.

Please take away what makes sense to you, ponder something that seems a bit out there, and discard that which does not measure up to your inner truth.  You know your world and your spirit better than we ever can.  We’re open to having the conversation — but in polite tones, please.

This is our place to share.  Any post that is deemed offensive or out of the conversational spirit will be removed.

We look forward to sharing our lives, our discoveries, some recipes, helpful hints, and hopefully some provocative thoughts with you.